Wonderful day, wonderful grace

Pilipinas, Aug 31, 2007

I am joined by my loving family on this special day, it’s almost 9am. I have work to finish but I do not want to miss a blog entry on my own special day. This morning when I woke up, I prayed to God, unsure of the things to thank Him for (because at 31 years old, there are really tons of things to give thanks). I whispered in a soft voice, “Thank you Jesus, 31 years ago You breathe life into a frail body, 31 years ago You assigned a place for me on this earth, 31 years ago, You allowed me to witness the beauty of Your creation, to have a taste of man’s wisdom, to be a recipient of love, to be able to listen to the songs of the birds and to be embraced by the wind that blows wherever I go.

I do not expect anyone to send greetings today the way that most of the people have done for the past 30, 10 and 3 years. This day, in a peculiar way, I am already overwhelmed by the one birthday song that I heard in the darkest corner of my room, it was just loud enough for a lingering soul to hear. It bid loneliness goodbye. My greatest friends once sang a birthday song for me, I took it on video before we shared a simple meal. I thought it was the greatest birthday song in my entire life, but not until their voices are gone, not until I unknowingly threw them away from me. Now as I slowly reach to the last page of this story, I choose not to be sad. Grace abounds as I hear His sweet voice. The table is all set, there were 31 candles on my birthday cake, my favorite pasta is rich in thick sauce, the people around me are excited for me. But I barely see all of these, for me it was as if Jesus was my only visitor, He sat there in front of me. I was expecting the familiar tune,

Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Happy birthday to you!

But God has a different tune in His heart; the notes were not that complicated, not too much rest and the staff was not really filled with dots. Yet, I felt very special. I felt loved and I suddenly realized how precious and how vast is the sum of His thoughts to me. For 31 years, He have searched me and knew me, when I sit and rise, perceived my thoughts from afar. He is familiar with all my ways. Yes, this is the greatest greeting that has reached my heart in my special day;

I have created you in my inmost being, I knit you together in your mother’s womb, your frame was not hidden from me when you were made in the secret place, all the days ordained for you where written in My book before one of them came to be.

Wonderful grace, He knows my thoughts from afar and yet He has loved me with an everlasting love. Wonderful grace, He is familiar with all my ways and yet He has loved me with an everlasting love. Wonderful grace, He KNEW me and yet He has loved me with an everlasting love.

I can’t even remember if I have spent even half of my days in truth, righteousness and excellence. I can’t even remember if doing the right thing was ever in my priorities. But I thank God, of all the days that I have lived this life, this day marks the greatest love that I have ever received. The love of Jesus Christ.
Wonderful grace! Wonderful day!

Ricky Sanchez in Singapore

Pilipinas, Aug 31, 2007

It was just an ordinary day for the Tampines home cell, we usually have dinner together at Ate Remy’s place. But last Friday night seemed to be a special day for a couple of reasons, one being the cute and cuddly Slim wants to showcase to us the craft of his “Electric Drill Skill.” Lol! Sorry bro, I have been contemplating on mentioning your name here in my blog for quite some time now and this is your day.

We shared a festive meal courtesy of Agnes and it was really good, especially the marinated chicken. I could still taste it in my mouth almost eight hours have passed (or was it because it did not brush my teeth? Nah! I did brush my teeth, the chicken was just really awesome) Amere, plucks on the six-stringed instrument which she is very passionate about. Abraham and Ethan Mae continued with their usual stunts, playing and kidding around the room while the rest of us are mingling in a semi-social, tongue-in-cheek discussion about life and faith. Ate Chilet was also there, she was introduced as a special guest but there was this person who quietly sits silently on one corner of the room, clad in a collared blue shirt and just gives off a few smile every once in a while.

A few minutes after reaching block 768, it was our visitor whom I looked at first when me and my wife entered the room. I have been to Slim and Mau’s place several times before and as if I knew the house so well, I knew already where to look for our guest.

Prior to this day, the host of the gathering already made mention that we will have a special guest. Apparently, he was a friend to our church community here in Singapore but for me, he was a new acquaintance.

I grew up in church hearing Ricky Sanchez’ name. I even play his cassette tapes, when a member of the music team would sing some of his songs (Minus one CDs before was a rarity). There where only a few of his songs that I could remember, Hesus-Aking Musika, Huwag mo Sanang Isipin. And if I am not mistaken, he was also the one who wrote Ako ay Binago Niya. It was a time where Marty Sampson and Reuben Morgan were not yet around. I remember hearing Darrel Evans as the first one who had loud riffs on gospel songs. But most of the music team would be having their own taste of local gospel music and some of these are Mr. Sanchez’.

Well, as far as I am concern. This person is really famous. But fame is not something that I saw in him last night, he quietly picks up the plate when it was dinner time, he attentively listened to us while the group bolsters each other’s beliefs and also shared a few of his thoughts regarding our topic. He was also very generous to reply to our inquiries. He even rendered a song for us before the home cell started. He shared to us that a few of his songs had made it to one of the famous soap in the Philippines and another song would be recorded by a local heartthrob who goes by the name of Piolo Pascual. As he was singing, I picked up my cell phone because I have no pen with me that time, I jotted down the chorus of his song. It was simple yet another truth of God was revealed to us in a unique way. He told us that he was able to write the song at the restroom of the Hotel Royale, while waiting for our church service to start. This was a part of his song;

Though He is the King of kings and Lord of lords HE LOVES ME,
The Prince of peace, Living Master is a FRIEND who cares for me.

I am not sure if I got the exact lyrics but I never had the chance to personally thank him for these words. It was really inspiring. In its truest sense, even amidst of losing most of our friends, in the uncertainty of who else could love us for who we are and not for what we did. There is something special to these words – “He loves me”. It is something that only helpless babies could feel when embraced and nursed by their loving parents, it is the earliest throne of comfort for them, the most secured position aside from their soft beds.

Indeed, even a small gathering of believers could turn to a close encounter to the One we believed in. Another one of God’s ways in telling us that “I love you my child!” it became personal, the scrumptious meal fed our hunger but the truth of God’s word fed a deeper hunger from within us.

All of us wore a different kind of joy in our hearts as we leave the place, our smiles are apparently unique compared with each other and we took home different stories inside us, this is my version, and the rest will surely bless the people that God has placed beside the circle of friends called – Tampines Home Cell.

Man’s Ultimate

Singapore, Aug 20, 2007

Practicing Christian beliefs results to a variety of response, it could be difficult to some while to others it would be just a simple feat. And yet to many of us, a life of a Christian can not be less than exciting. For we serve a God which is so creative, the ways in which He reveals Himself to His followers is constant yet it always strikes our heart in ways which meets our different needs.

Steven Curtis Chapman wrote these words in one of his songs “the blinding light of grace come breaking through with sweetness”1. Yes, if there is one word that could describe the greatest love given to us is simply that – sweet.

Yesterday, at the Royal Hotel, God’s word was at work again. Sharper than any double edged sword, it has once again penetrated to the dividing soul and spirit. With its triumphant banner of truth it continues to reveal Jesus who is always excited about anything that pertains to us. The great outpouring of His blessing comes in many different ways. Most of them unnoticed, most of them we have not even thanked Him for.

“You will be blessed from Zion”2, the pastor concludes in this simple yet striking truth, especially to a Filipino. One of Man’s ultimate is to be connected to his land.

Scattered among many foreign soils, we can be reluctant when it comes to this topic. Maybe if I would be an American, or European or Australian, there would be so much connection between me and my country. But a Filipino? Well good luck. With all the dirt and corruption that eats the system, from disorganized bus routes to air pollution, creative theft (piracy, selling sub standard products, unhealthy foods) dreams are for sale, education is not a learning institution anymore, respect for authority is dependent on whose side the authority is and the intellectual atrocity penetrating the government is so casual, as casual as the poor children sniffing rugby in front of Quiapo Church.

Shattering! I can not hide my tears while writing this blog. But as I remember the good pastor talking about nationalism, I scrambled for the floor looking for dignity which shame has stepped over. I can not even raise my hands on the question of “do you still love our country” I tried to hide from the noise of my past, I tried to huddle with the fact that I am already in Singapore and a good life awaits me here. I tried everything but to no avail. As if the words from the pastor are not good enough, I was slammed right in the face when he says, “You can be anything you want to be, change your citizen, outgrow your nationality but one thing remains, you were born a Filipino and you will die one”

Death, the familiar antagonist of hope, the curious audience of defeat and the surest thing on earth. Yes, in death I will still be a Filipino, so why pretend to paste a different flag on my tombstone. It will not work. It certainly won’t.

The church service have long ended, I have already done errands for a work that I am applying to, I have already browsed almost a hundred web page this day. But the Word of God shared by Rev. Rey Navarro has substantiated once again that His word judges the thoughts and the attitudes of the heart.3

The Philippines may be in its prime of emotional chaos, but it’s far from my ability to add any change to this by posing rants and rage over the self-defeat that our countrymen are constantly holding in their hearts. But to those of us who are given the chance to work overseas, who are living an easier life must not leave this one special matter over the closed doors of our minds. Back at home we have our fathers, our mothers, our children, our brothers and sisters. And let us make sure that they would not seclude into defeat, that they would not lose hope on our beloved country. One small step from where we are standing now would matter, for it would mean a gigantic leap of faith, a model of hope for them to see that indeed, they will be blessed from Zion all the days of their life.

Notes:
1. Steven Curtis Chapman, Angel’s Wish, All Things New, 2004
2. Psalm 128: 5
3. Hebrews 4:12

Invitation to Pain

Singapore, 2:54pm

“And should it be Your blessed will with crushing grief my soul to fill, press harder still”

However this may sound to any person, I can not refuse to question what faith could bring about such submissive will and obedience to ask God to press harder still.

L.B. Cowman penned the quotes in italics above. I have been reading her devotional book Streams in the Desert, long before I get to know its true meaning in my life. But this is one author who knows best when it comes to living in a barren wilderness. Long ago she discovered a fountain that sustained her and she shared it with the world through her writings. And thankful to God for the grace of having the ability to read and comprehend, I found myself immersed in her collection of prayers and meditations.

Her book was first published in 1925. That was some 51 years before I was born. And yet the power of the Holy Spirit which sustained her remains to touch the heart and soul of different people who in the same manner had a glimpse of that barren wilderness.

It is really evident that a man can give in to pain forwhatever he would believed in. I saw on Discovery channel, Asian Enigma. It is a hair raising experience to witness what man can do as he is lead to believe that the power of a certain god has given him different abilities. I saw this Snake Manu, there is nothing extra ordinary to what he is doing except that he puts a live snake in his nostrils and then the snake would pass through his mouth. Argh! I can’t make cotton buds enter my nostrils when I was a young kid. How much more a live snake, wait its not just any ordinary snake, it’s a venomous cobra.

Ok enough of Mr. Snake Manu.

Going back to different practices of faith, it is an overwhelming privilege to be part of a family who believes in the risen Christ. Before His Sovereign power to save and lift us up from the place of despair, pain plays a great role in all of this.

As His words lead us from dry desolate places to the waters of the River of Life. There is no better companion than pain. For it is there we find constant need of a Savior, between surrendering to defeat and a victorious attitude to rise up, we see the straight arrow of hope pointing to where Jesus is. And along the way, as we seek to go near Him, we have in our heart these spoken words of trust and obedience to God uttered by Jesus Himself in His most painful moment

“Father if You are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will but Your will be done” Luke 22:42

The next time you feel pain, stay still and let the Potter shape you in whatever way He pleases.

Changing Skin

Singapore 3:12am

It's past 3 am...Just made a few twist on my blog skin, now it looks better. I started working on this around 11pm and after a grueling task of trial and error I finally got the right positioning...

The photo above is shot in Cebu...It doesn't look like me sitting on an old rook..but it's me indeed!

time to sleep...

An Unlikely Encounter

Singapore 2007

Yesterday I got a chance to be interviewed by a Singaporean. The company is in the business of providing design solutions for different clients. I never got the chance to apologize to Mr. Recruiter because I did not understand his words when he introduced his company to me.

So what’s there to write about a regular day on a normal interview procedure?

Nothing I supposed, except that this person in front of me is so proud of Filipino employees. He says he prefers Pinoys over other nationality because we perform our tasks better. It was a shining moment for me that very hour; I can not help but tell him how I wish that employers back at home would have the same perspective such as his. How I wish Filipino employers would boast about the workmanship of their fellow Filipinos instead of not giving them much preference and opportunity to work.

I remember the story of my colleague who happens to be a software developer; one time a foreigner arrived at their office which is also an employee of one of their companies which is based in Asia. My friend told me that the fellow was really good in theories but when it comes to practicing those theories, Pinoys are really better. And here before me, a Singaporean confirms… “Filipinos can beat those people (referring to a set of nationalities) head to head".

Wow! Head to head!

The interview ended casually, without an assurance that I am hired, he asked me to perform some tasks and return at his office to discuss how we would proceed. But employment was not my primary concern that day.

I left by thanking him, in a few minutes talk, I learned a lot from him.

I went home excited, not because of getting a new job.

I am excited of the magnitude of passion and nationalism that was birthed in my heart. Yes, I might be over-reacting but that’s how it affected me, to hear from the words of a foreigner that Filipinos are great workers.

I seldom hear this back at home, I don’t even speak about this. For as far as I am concern, we are not that good in doing our job, but I was wrong. It is not how we perform our job, but how we love our country that makes a great impact over our co-workers.

I pray that the wings of nationalism would cover the hearts of each and every one of us. Regardless if we are home or not.

God bless the Philippines!

Happy Birthday Singapore

Singapore 10am

Today is Singapore’s 42nd birthday, it’s such a great experience to be here this day. Yesterday I saw Prime Minister Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong on MediaCorp delivering his message. The Prime Minister is very much positive about the future of SG. I have never heard of such passion to pursue his fellow’s welfare, well not from anyone from RP. My thoughts are sporadic as I watch him speak about the welfare of the old Singaporeans, how this time the government is preparing for those who would retire, by having their benefits more accessible. One of his programs is to make people work longer so that they need not retire early therefore more retirement benefits would come their way.

In facing global matters, PM Lee says SG needs dedicated leaders in every sector and indeed as great changes unfold before Singaporeans, one strategy that he gave was for the Singaporeans to be more resilient and be able to tackle problems their own instead of looking for the government to solve every problem.

My favorite part is when PM Lee states that the internet is a tremendous tool changing the world therefore the citizens should make full use of it to link up and become a productive economy and a vibrant society.

He invites everyone to unite..learn to live and adapt.

"Singaporeans should express themselves freely but responsibly. We need to help solve problems and build our nation, not chip away at the pillars of our society. We will not always agree with one another, but we must stay cohesive and united in our common vision for Singapore."

I can not help but think about the leaders of our society back home. I know they all have good intentions, the opposition and the administration have their call to provide for the welfare of the Filipinos. Maybe a few dirty tricks on their hands but I still believe that being in their position there is always a struggle to do what is right. And I salute those who are successful in doing so.

I have been very negative about the president ever since she sat office, most of my friends knew this. Who cares anyway? I am just a fragment of one’s imagination so what does my being negative to anyone have to do with change?

But being brought through the road of failures, I have learned not to sympathize with those who fail but to bring down the judge’s robe for I am not and never will become a judge to anyone of them.

In my heart I just thought that as the leaders of our society scamper for attention, may the solutions for the nation’s problems be visible. It would not be difficult to ask the people to tackle problems on their own if the people would only see that the government is really doing their part. And if they have been doing their part, well its time to educate the people that we have a good government after all. Spread the clothe of knowledge, not through the media but by reaching out to every sector of the society.

Before anarchy would break out into our land let’s leave enough space to trust each other, the people, the government and everything else that surrounds it, including the church and the media.

If Singapore can make it big, the Philippines can too.

As a Filipino living abroad, I am guilty of leaving my country behind in exchange for good welfare and better work compensation. But as there is a sovereign God who leads each of our path. I still pray for the chance to be one with all of you in building our nation together. In rising up from the ashes of shame, corruption and societal failure.

There are a lot of good things happening back home I know it. Take it from me, I never once said anything good about the Philippines. I used to live behind the curtains of “who cares?” attitude, if I could make it better then I would, everyone else must live as he wants to..

But living here in SG for a few months makes me think about the Philippines more often.

Thanks to TFC(ABS CBN) another one of the entities that I loathed seeing.

Oh things could really change so fast…it took me one wrong turn in life to realize greater things.

I end my blog with another of Mr Lee’s great words of encouragement.

"We must do more to engage our young and strengthen their roots in Singapore. We must imbue in them the conviction that Singapore is a special and unique place that belongs to them and that Singapore's future depends on them,"

Gutsy Guilt

Singapore 11:50am

The precious gem of God's Word spoken from the heart of people who do not even know where many hearts are as they write these words, yet as life breathes itself from the wisdom of God out of their writings...it brings hope to the paralized heart, to the futile and the coward, to those who underestimated the deadly and destructive fruits of self-gratification. To those who are crossing the bridge of restoration, inching his way farther from the dark and numbing reality of failure.

6th of August...John Piper wrote the next section, as part of his Desiring God devotional...it says;

The Remedy for Paralyzed Sinners & Fallen Saints
To the fallen saint, who knows the darkness is self-inflicted and feels the futility of looking for hope from a frowning Judge, the Bible gives a shocking example of gutsy guilt. It pictures God’s failed prophet beneath a righteous frown, bearing his chastisement with broken-hearted boldness. "Rejoice not over me, O my enemy; when I fall, I shall rise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light to me. I will bear the indignation of the Lord because I have sinned against him, until he pleads my cause and executes judgment for me. He will bring me out to the light" (Micah 7:8-9). This is courageous contrition. Gutsy guilt. The saint has fallen. The darkness of God’s indignation is on him. He does not blow it off, but waits. And he throws in the face of his accuser the confidence that his indignant Judge will plead his cause and execute justice for (not against) him. This is the application of justification to the fallen saint. Broken-hearted, gutsy guilt.



His grace abounds!...even to the vilest sinner...such as I...

31.31.31.

Singapore 11:41pm

40 minutes before the day ends, I finally got the chance to write something about this day. I can not miss writing about anything today because 31 days from now, on August 31 I will be 31 years old.

It’s only once that I would pass this day. So I took the chance to write about my thoughts again.

It is said that man’s average life span is 60 years. If that’s the case then I’m halfway through, I am on the third quarter of the ballgame. Great huddles that came before me on the first half of my life have done nothing but add color to gray areas of my life. The wrong turns along the way were nothing but a kid skipping his way out of school. A stubborn student of the school of life. A tongue-twisting story teller who keeps himself to be always the protagonist of the entire short stories that escapes his thoughts through his lips. That’s what you have there. That’s how it turned out to be.

But the greatest story is yet to unfold. As time’s cruel intentions have hardened my heart, the grace of the One who owns the clock of the universe lead me to a different path. Everything is now a loss. Compared to the surpassing greatness of what is in store for me, should I keep walking where He leads me, through His grace alone.

And as the celebration of the day of my birth approaches, nothing I could ask for but for that one great desire to be in my heart. "To dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon His beauty and seek Him in His temple".1

I have to keep up with the fruits of my self-destructive ways and start from the ground, to see hope, north of where I am standing, I could only imagine if I would be able to speak less than the words that I can. To shout silently in boastfulness of how God have delivered me and to proclaim the only worth I have which I found in Christ alone.

Great friends have come and gone. Love has reached its end. Trust has pondered the walls of my dreams with uncertainty and faithfulness left the prideful heart.

But One remains.

One great God. "Who knows my name, Who knows my every thoughts, Who sees each tears that fall and HEARS me when I call".2

"We could completely trust the Man who died for our sins. With everything that concerns the life that He saved"…3

1. Psalm 27:4 2. He knows my name, Tommy Walker 3. Streams from the Desert, LB Cowman