[Instant coffee and aircon, prose and confusion]
I left the park without the usual gutsy feeling and a bullet proof attitude of "let go of me dude!, I'm fed up with you".
Almost cynical of your righteous intention, I need to fasten my seatbelt and let the adrenaline rush, shy of Pompey's post privatus years.
The metallic plate of my subtle dreams ended up in a less than lucrative business of the self.
Not minding the gradient color of the blood that spilled from self inflicted wounds, my hopes are reduced to half the number of stars that collared my engaging tactics. Deal with me now or prepare for the great white shark's ferrocious kiss.
Listen to the sound of the black keys that holds my fingers apart, I hurriedly take you away to neverland, to where we will never grow old, to where the pirate captain is held captive to the croc's enigmatic agenda.
I am helpless in preventing the rage behind these words that time had allowed me to translate inside a dim-lit room of strange people.
Though the memories have died in the eye of the strong hurricane, fear never held back an inch and took his post.
Battle!
To battle the essential truth behind the smile. To rattle the poignant decaying pulse for a little while. The mantle of random heartbeat refuse to survive. The damsel of creative distress is barely alive.
Thank you!
The curtain is lifted.
I'm out of words, a burglar of poetic innovations.
Leave me alone and let me alone.
My dear self, how I long to ask "Where did you sleep last night?"
And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
Luke 14:27
Showing posts with label leaving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label leaving. Show all posts
Monday, September 17, 2007
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Unleavened Thoughts
16th of April, 11:48 pm, gate 3 NAIA. Waiting for our boarding announcement, I am now bored, who would not be? My plane ticket says I should have left 3 hours ago,(meaning, I should be in Singapore by now) but still here I am, already bought 2 phone cards to talk to my friends. Oh life, I asked them, “would you want me to leave?, The plane won’t start” my friend just giggled over the phone and told me, “don’t know anything about it”. Good to hear a voice of an angel friend.
This is the most boring boredom that ever landed my bored thoughts. To make matters worst, my mobile phone is almost dead. Why in the world would I keep my phone charger on the bag that I checked in and not on the bag that I’m carrying now? Maybe it’s a result of a Dysphiriangenetical Immuno Acidic Mutation Of Nerves, in short – Lack of Sleep, in Tagalog - “Puyat”.(Ok I admit, I made it up!)
Yes it was a wild ride, the last few days was like a train bound to kingdom come. Everything is scattered on my soft damped carpet, my books are all in place (all of them occupies random location on a Cartesian plane that I call my home)
I don’t know anyone from the group of people that are also bored waiting for the boarding announcement but I find solace in being far from anyone that I knew, for a while but not for a moment.
Now, it made me think about what I would be leaving behind and where I am heading to. It could fall into several categories though, those happy plastic people that would give you their best smile armored with a claw of doubt. And those that possess the ability to shift gears on the fly.
No more waking up on sorry nights, fearing my own tears and clogging my dreams with fabricated sunsets. The final countdown has reached its end, as silence makes up for the lost time that dissonance has taken for itself. I now hold on to the peace that passes all understanding, to the most significant thing that money can not buy, to the happiness that was tainted with eloquent beliefs of the wandering spectators.
Finally, the boarding announcement. And as usual you would hear the “sorry for the inconvenience” litany, as if it would help. And as I board my plane, I leave the rest of my life to the One who would hold my plane to its safe landing, the One who would allow me to walk the road in safety. To the One who knows my most precious thoughts, even my most lonely days. The fear of leaving supersedes the fear of having to start all over again.
It is so hard to cry. But it’s harder to be the reason for someone else’s tears.
Hold your breath.
This is the most boring boredom that ever landed my bored thoughts. To make matters worst, my mobile phone is almost dead. Why in the world would I keep my phone charger on the bag that I checked in and not on the bag that I’m carrying now? Maybe it’s a result of a Dysphiriangenetical Immuno Acidic Mutation Of Nerves, in short – Lack of Sleep, in Tagalog - “Puyat”.(Ok I admit, I made it up!)
Yes it was a wild ride, the last few days was like a train bound to kingdom come. Everything is scattered on my soft damped carpet, my books are all in place (all of them occupies random location on a Cartesian plane that I call my home)
I don’t know anyone from the group of people that are also bored waiting for the boarding announcement but I find solace in being far from anyone that I knew, for a while but not for a moment.
Now, it made me think about what I would be leaving behind and where I am heading to. It could fall into several categories though, those happy plastic people that would give you their best smile armored with a claw of doubt. And those that possess the ability to shift gears on the fly.
No more waking up on sorry nights, fearing my own tears and clogging my dreams with fabricated sunsets. The final countdown has reached its end, as silence makes up for the lost time that dissonance has taken for itself. I now hold on to the peace that passes all understanding, to the most significant thing that money can not buy, to the happiness that was tainted with eloquent beliefs of the wandering spectators.
Finally, the boarding announcement. And as usual you would hear the “sorry for the inconvenience” litany, as if it would help. And as I board my plane, I leave the rest of my life to the One who would hold my plane to its safe landing, the One who would allow me to walk the road in safety. To the One who knows my most precious thoughts, even my most lonely days. The fear of leaving supersedes the fear of having to start all over again.
It is so hard to cry. But it’s harder to be the reason for someone else’s tears.
Hold your breath.
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