The Sting of Goodbye

Sevenink in Singapore

04.26.2007 7:54pm

According to Yahoo Education;

No doubt more than one reader has wondered exactly how goodbye is derived from the phrase "God be with you." To understand this, it is helpful to see earlier forms of the expression, such as God be wy you, god b'w'y, godbwye, god buy' ye, and good-b'wy. The first word of the expression is now good and not God, for good replaced God by analogy with such expressions as good day, perhaps after people no longer had a clear idea of the original sense of the expression. A letter of 1573 written by Gabriel Harvey contains the first recorded use of goodbye: "To requite your gallonde [gallon] of godbwyes, I regive you a pottle of howdyes," recalling another contraction that is still used.

Wikipedia has the same thing to say about this word, a traditional farewell phrase used in the English language.

This word has always been used primarily to connote leaving something or someone important to your heart. Not to the level of deserting their importance or having no use to them but its just that other elements of life much supreme than you or what you have needs to take its toll as to set in place somehow how the universe should work, and as most of us would agree, the culprit would be, none other than – TIME.

Yes so much have been going on for ages as time sits by his most comfortable corner and in most of time’s capability to laugh at lives missing most of its worth using time in the wrong way you end up in tears. And then unknowingly, time shows off its cruelty by speeding away from you when you most enjoyed it. Time is more supreme than joy, is more powerful than love, time can be peaceful but peace can not over write time.

The most absurd idea you might say from someone who does websites, yes I might live from the age of gigabytes and ones and zeroes. But more than any other living species on this earth I’ve had my share of time’s cruel intentions because I believe nothing could have ever happened without it – without time. How can you find yourself as a thirty year old geek without time passing by? How can you promise someone a future if time won’t pass by and bring that future at your hands? And God would return when? Time will tell right?

And where does that leave us? Are we just accidents waiting to happen? I beg to disagree. Sometimes I think if there’s something next to God in terms of supremacy, it would be time. Time sits someplace near God’s throne so that when we pray for something, God’s answer would come in a package delivered with time.

Even saying goodbye must be in coordination with time cause logically you cant say goodbye to things that time have not yet given you. And who would know if you will find yourself walking the same path again? Of course, time would.

I’ve had the greatest this world has to offer, I’ve had the most profound lifestyle that one could not imagine me having. I’ve been cruelly loved by the most defiant of creatures who wears name tags that read “friends”. Now time dictates that I need to pack my bags to de-synthesize my efforts to build from the ruins of unmet social norms, from the accordions of legalism, from the arc of man’s definitive covenant to survival. All of these I hide in the shadow of history’s most significant piece of wood, to a place not worthy for a King, where one Man ended all humanitarian efforts to unite the creation to the Creator. To where the Savior bid goodbye not to us but to the power of death over us.

You define time whichever way you wish, you call it the most beautiful name you want, pack it in the most expensive cloth or even preserve it in some way but at the end of the day the workflow leads to one single time-table.

Ecclesiastes 3:11 God has made EVERYTHING beautiful in His time. Goodbye has it's sting in my own time but never in God’s.

Defeating Ignorant Grief

SevenInk in Singapore
04.25.2007 09:30 AM



Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Psalm 90:14 NIV

I began this day reciting this verse repeatedly, amidst my tears in hope that suddenly I would start singing for joy and be glad all my days.

Unfailing love, translated in the Amplified Bible as God’s mercy and loving-kindness. To where shall I put my trust in times that trust has lost its ground inside the very core of my heart. To where shall I seek joy when my weary eyes have given way to my tears as its master.

Nowadays, when silence seems so loud and grief is comfortable in its new-found home which is my being, making the next step feels like a feat requiring higher level of knowledge. My right foot can’t make its move as my left foot is so sturdy and careless of its other half.

Oh, grief is so ignorant and does not even care to learn. (L.B. Cowman, Streams in the Desert). Ever watched this in real time? Ever had all the colors in your palette but you end up painting grayscale? How about drinking water from an empty glass and yet you expect to be filled?

Pain has numerous ways to count its way inside a man’s heart. Yet my heart would decide if pain indeed would have its way inside me. But as the battle heightens up, I begin to realize that I’m losing by TKO. I seek protection inside the covering of the mighty armor of silence yet the fiercest of my thoughts beats the hell out of me.

I lay my armor, I stare at the horizon, I touch the soft wind and like a whisper to a thunderous scream, I uttered in defeat to God, “lay down your game plan and I’ll zoom my way against all foes knowing You planned it”.

Now I wait for the certain peace in uncertain time. But as God holds the hands of the clock, it would stop whenever its destined to stop.

Time is running out for this mortal breath of mine. But the immortality of eternity waits with abundant joy as the rest of the soldiers of God who lived in this world gloriously triumph bearing no sign of their wounds and no blood to spill as the blood of the Savior already spilled its way for my redemption.

Our joys are made better when sorrow is in the midst of them. And our sorrows become bright through the joys that God has planted around them.(L.B. Cowman, Streams in the Desert)

Unleavened Thoughts

16th of April, 11:48 pm, gate 3 NAIA. Waiting for our boarding announcement, I am now bored, who would not be? My plane ticket says I should have left 3 hours ago,(meaning, I should be in Singapore by now) but still here I am, already bought 2 phone cards to talk to my friends. Oh life, I asked them, “would you want me to leave?, The plane won’t start” my friend just giggled over the phone and told me, “don’t know anything about it”. Good to hear a voice of an angel friend.

This is the most boring boredom that ever landed my bored thoughts. To make matters worst, my mobile phone is almost dead. Why in the world would I keep my phone charger on the bag that I checked in and not on the bag that I’m carrying now? Maybe it’s a result of a Dysphiriangenetical Immuno Acidic Mutation Of Nerves, in short – Lack of Sleep, in Tagalog - “Puyat”.(Ok I admit, I made it up!)

Yes it was a wild ride, the last few days was like a train bound to kingdom come. Everything is scattered on my soft damped carpet, my books are all in place (all of them occupies random location on a Cartesian plane that I call my home)

I don’t know anyone from the group of people that are also bored waiting for the boarding announcement but I find solace in being far from anyone that I knew, for a while but not for a moment.

Now, it made me think about what I would be leaving behind and where I am heading to. It could fall into several categories though, those happy plastic people that would give you their best smile armored with a claw of doubt. And those that possess the ability to shift gears on the fly.

No more waking up on sorry nights, fearing my own tears and clogging my dreams with fabricated sunsets. The final countdown has reached its end, as silence makes up for the lost time that dissonance has taken for itself. I now hold on to the peace that passes all understanding, to the most significant thing that money can not buy, to the happiness that was tainted with eloquent beliefs of the wandering spectators.

Finally, the boarding announcement. And as usual you would hear the “sorry for the inconvenience” litany, as if it would help. And as I board my plane, I leave the rest of my life to the One who would hold my plane to its safe landing, the One who would allow me to walk the road in safety. To the One who knows my most precious thoughts, even my most lonely days. The fear of leaving supersedes the fear of having to start all over again.

It is so hard to cry. But it’s harder to be the reason for someone else’s tears.

Hold your breath.

A mutant’s ordeal of a weird lover of laughter and tears

[Pinakamagulong blog na naisulat ko...mutant mode kasi ako dito december pala nung last ako ng blog..grabe tagal na...]

Intro
Paputol-putol ang ftp connection ko habang ang puno ng saging sa tabi ko ay mayabang na nagsasabing ikaw kasi…pasaway ka!

Ang hirap simulan ng kwentong sasabihin ko ngayon kya sinimulan ko ng walang kwenta…pero kung malalaman nyo lang kung ano tlga gusto kong ikwento ay malamang mamangha kayo at tumugon kayo ng napakamadamdaming “OK!”

Chapter 1 Nagsimula ang Lahat sa Hangin
Sige proceed na tayo, halos tatlong taon na ng una kong narinig ang busina ng jeep sa Remedios at nalanghap ang usok ng nagmamadaling jeep ulit papunta sa Monumento, ngayon malapit nko lumayas ng Pilipinas andun pa rin ang usok na kumakapit sa uniporme ng tiwaling traffic enforcer na wala ng ginawa kundi ang mag piko sa kalye gamit ang makapal na mukha bilang pamato.

Simula noon naging madalas na kung gabi ako umuwi meron kasing training sa isang basement sa San Marcelino, mangilan-ngilang kaluluwa ang dumadalaw dun para makulong ng ilang saglit sa piling ng malaking daga na sobrang mahiyain. Dun ko nakilala ang mga kaibigan ko na inabot na ng bagyo at tidal wave ay kaibigan ko pa rin. Salamat sa inyo ha? At lumipas man ang sandamakmak na rally sa Pilipinas, magkikita pa rin tayo kasi hindi naman tayo bulag. (corny ng joke ko bad trip)

Chapter 2 Para mama!!... bago mag Estrella!
Ansaya nung mga panahon na hindi pa kumplikado ang buhay papunta sa petplans, hindi pa nakakalito pumara ng bus sa pagitan ng tulay at overpass, at hindi pa kelangang sumakay ng elevator na papuntang 11th floor(na nag iisang buhay na palapag sa building na yun nung panahon n iyon).

Chapter 3 Bulong ng Palad
Bago pa dumating ang mga kwento, madami ng kwentuhan, bago dumating ang mga nagpipilit makinig ng mga piniling tinig ay marami na kong nadinig. Antagal na panahon na din palang lumipas madaming tao na rin ang dumaan sa trangkahan ng atensiyon ko. Sabi ng isang kaibigan kong matalik, masyado daw ako mapili sa mga kinakaibigan ko. Aba! At mapili pa pala ako ng lagay na ito? Teka meron bang taong hindi namili ng kaibigan niya? Maliban nlang kung politiko ka malamang gawin mo ito, pero sa katulad nating namamasahe lang ng 9 pesos sa bus na byaheng cubao to boni avenue ay dapat mamili tayo ng kaibigan natin diba?

Chapter 4 Share a Load, Win a Friend
Ewan ko sa iyo at diyan sa katabi mong nagbabasa din nitong blog ko pero ako talaga mas gusto kong mamili ng taong pagkakatiwalaan, yung tipong hindi ka tlga iiwan sa balag ng alanganin. Yung kahit panis na pop corn at boring na soda ay sasamahan ka kasi ang mahalaga yung magkasama kayo at kaya nyong magalit sa isa’t isa ng harapan tapos kakain na kayo ulit ng popcorn at soda, hindi yung plastic na chocolate walnut brownies at choco frap na nagpapanggap na whip cream kapiling ng ngiting pumupunit sa circumference ng mukha ng kausap mo mula kanang tenga hanggang kaliwang tenga.

Chapter 5 Sigaw!
“Huwag ka diyan” sigaw ng katipunerong may hawak na iPod, ng tanungin ng barberong may dalang cd ng cueshe, “bakit?” ang sagot ng katipunero, “sapagkat sinabi ko at ako ay katipunero” - ang labo diba? Minsan ganun sa mundong ibabaw eh, kahit sa mundong gilid at mundong ilalim, nangyayari yun kahit pa munggo lang ang ulam nyo mangyayari pa rin yun. May taong mag-sasabi sayo ng isang bagay na ang basehan lang niya ay kasi siya yun.

Chapter 6 Basang Sisiw sa Gilid ng Tuyong Kalan
Nakakatuwa din minsan na manood ng trailer ng isang suspense thriller na pelikula sa mukha ng kausap mo. Suspense kasi di mo alam kung ano kasunod na sasabihin, thriller kasi nakaka-shock kapag nalaman mo ang susunod na sasabihin, hindi mo alam san nanggaling.

Chapter 7 Wear Your Smile Always - Zionne
Naku katext ko ang kaibigan ko habang ginagawa ko ang blog na ito, at ang payo niya mag-hunos dili daw ako, sabi ko nagsusulat lang naman ako, wala naman akong inaaway. Ska isa pa napagod ako sa trabaho kaya kelangan ko magsulat, ang pagsusulat ay isang bitamina ng utak ko na nakakakapagrelax. Nawawala ang pressure ng trabaho pag nagsusulat ako, nalilimutan ko ang lahat ng problema ko at tumatahimik ako habang nagsusulat.

Conclusion
Sige sa hindi malamang dahilan, tatapusin ko na itong blog ko, anlabo ng title ng blog ko noh?, kahit anong hanap mo dito sa sinulat ko di mo matatagpuan ang ibig kong sabihin unless na weird ka din katulad ko, ay hindi pala ako weird, mutant pala ako.