Inspired by Luke 23:26-43
Just above my sun-burnt forehead, the heat of the sun settles to the west and my body weary of a week’s travel starts to transform into a pain cushion that leaves no room for comfort. Even sleep was not in my agenda. Before me is a table covered with crumbs that were left over from a festive meal of edible grass and warm water. I should not be hungry anymore; I am filled to the bin. I made sure that the money from the purse that I have stolen from that old lady would buy me enough food for the day. I’m sure it did.
My palms are still covered with blood; I hope the blind man still has air to breathe even if it’s colorless. I did not mean to hurt him, the little boy with him was so angry with me but I could not hurt a little boy, how could I?
I was at their court to steal their livestock, nothing more. It’s as simple as that. I made so much noise after hitting the old man’s head with an iron rod, the people came running towards me, I have no time to spare.
Maybe that is why I am so tired; yes I was running like mad, I don’t know where I am heading I just need to leave the crowd and head for my life. Is it my fault that I was born to a poor family? At the age of five, I started stealing for food, my father was not home and my mother came looking for him. I remember that was the last time I saw them both.
It was more than thirty years and still I have to steal to earn an extra day, an extra foothold, another pair of sunrise and sunset, I lost count of the people I hurt and stole from.
Suddenly, I heard a voice, “I am thirsty!” I opened my eyes, it was all just a dream, my life was in front of me for a few minutes that my eyes were closed. And now I am facing reality, I hung helplessly on a wooden cross. In front of me is an audience who is mocking me…no! not me, I was wrong, I am not the object of their mockery, it is this man beside me. They called him the King of the Jews, why do all the people in this rotten hill hate him so much? I can’t see anything wrong with him.
His face is covered with blood, I can’t differentiate between the thorns and his eyebrows, his dry lips was covered with bleeding skin, it must have been where his beard and mustache was before the people stripped it like a wild grass. Blood, so much blood! The more blood drips from his body, the more the crowd slanders him. I looked at his feet, the nails that glued it to the wood almost shattered his feet. I am not sure what’s keeping him alive. I know how rough the wood is. I can feel it in my back. But his back is barely hiding his inner skin. I can’t stand the sight of it. With so much pain I am witnessing I can not feel my own pain.
But what is this that I see in his eyes?
Amidst the near fatal wounds exposed in the heat of the sun and with the loud noise of the crowd, I saw something in his eyes; it’s the last thing that you would see in places like this. In people like him on his death cross. A calming peace. Like a thousand voltage of lightning, his kindness struck my heart with unexplainable impact – it brought me to repentance. I was about to ask his name when the man on his other side, also on the cross spoke bluntly; “Aren't you the Christ? Save yourself and us!” I shouted back at my fellow thief “Don't you fear God since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”
Then I turned to the man in between us, the Lamb of God, the Messiah; with a soft voice, with all the strength left in my body and with His kind stare that led me to repentance, I told Him these words “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”
Before all the memoirs of my past sin turns into tears, I heard a Father’s voice, a Shepherd’s call, a Friend’s assurance – “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.”
I closed my eyes in blessed assurance, eternity now awaits me, I don’t know how, but this Man did it all for me. And now the blood the covers His whole body wrote silently these words in my heart “I did this for you my child”
Amazing grace, How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, But now am found
Was blind but now I see
John Newton
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